THEY ARE BACK. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THEM?

So, while a whole load of them are going back to school this week, there’s another group of them going back to parliament. What are we going to do about them (the second group that is)?

Like so many others, I‘ve been distracted by the Olympics and Paralympics and as far as I can see we are just so good. Ok, so I didn’t actually do anything in either event, (I watched a lot on the TV) but there is so much British pride about at the moment and I’m British, so until the shine has gone completely it’s us and we.

Anyway they are back. So the first thing I need to do is utter a little prayer, God help us (I really mean that). Over the previous few days there have been little tell-tell signs that they were not far away. Such as the comments by the Liberal Democrat Lord Oakeshott, that the party should consider a change of management. Well, I ask you, does he really think that would make any difference to his party’s future. Reading through the various comments by other top Lib Dems in support of change at the top, (and by those opposed to it) it seems to me they are all delusional. I’m sorry Nick and co, but you chucked it all away. You may have, but I and many, many others have not forgotten your about turn on student fees etc. For me, the worst thing of all was putting Danny Alexander in as Chief Secretary – this is a position of influence (and power) that before the coalition, he could only have dreamed about. You Lib Dems have brought it all upon yourselves. So, the most important issue after the summer recess is the Lords reform! NO NICK, it’s the state of the economy, unemployment (particularly youth unemployment) and so on. Yes, I agree the Lords do need reform but that will have to wait until more pressing matters have been dealt with. Now I’m starting to get angry so let’s move on.

Cameron (Dave to his friends), Osborne (George if he has any friends) and the rest of this lot, (I have used the word ‘lot’ to describe the Conservatives because I am unable or unwilling to use any other) have also come back to parliament making all sorts of positive noises about dealing with our problems. Yes I have used the word ‘our’; after all, we are all in this together, in the shit that is. Some of us are right in it, good and proper. (You note that I am associating myself not only with our Olympic winners, but also with the recession’s losers. How even handed is that?) And what is the first thing on the AG? A reshuffle. I ask you, a reshuffle. That’s going to make all the difference? I’m gonna have to say that prayer again.

This is how I see Dave’s dilemma. This country’s economy needs a boost (a bloody big boost) which means he has to do some of those things the other lot have been calling for (I am calling Labour the ‘other lot’ so as to be fair). However, he knows that as soon as there is the slightest hint of any movement in that direction, the other lot will be jumping up and down like you’ve never seen before. So, if this lot can’t do the things that need to be done because of the reaction of the other lot, not only can Dave blame the other lot for getting us into this mess, he can also blame them for keeping us there. If only they could play nicely together. What are we going to do with them?

A hundred or so years ago the likes of Dave and George could have been bought a commission in the army. They would have been among the donkeys leading all those lions to their death. Think about it. If being in the army was considered too wuff, they could have been found a nice little parish somewhere. Now they just go into politics without any experience of the world inhabited by the rest of us. I know I’m only repeating what others have already said, but it’s so true. Maybe before we get too worked up about Lords reform, something ought to be done about the reform of MP’s.

Don’t get me wrong, the other lot are no better. Gone are the days when your career as a Labour politician started on the shop floor as a union rep. Ok, so many of them had big chips on their shoulders, but as least they knew the price of bread. For me, it all went wrong for Labour when the Kinnocks came on the scene (don’t get me started on them). And then, Tah Dah, the Blair and Brown show. It was plainly obvious by then that even simple little prayers were not being answered.

I haven’t got much to say about the current leaders of the other lot because unless I’ve missed it, they don’t appear to have anything to say on their return.

Do you know what? Sod the lot of them.